00:00:00 Speaker: Welcome to Skillful Means podcast. I'm your host, Jennifer O'Sullivan, and I'm so happy to be back with you, continuing this mini series on teachings and practices that awaken the heart. If you haven't had a chance to listen to last month's episode, not a worry, go back and listen when you can. They're not designed to stack and you can listen out of order. This month we're talking compassion, particularly teachings that come from the Mahayana school of Buddhism. I don't want to hang out too long in Buddhist history Corner, but the emphasis on compassion is something that sets Mahayana apart from its older sibling, Theravada. I point this out because American Buddhists tend to be a bit more familiar with Theravada. Because our most well-known American teachers studied with Theravada teachers. And I'm not a famous Buddhist teacher, but I too have spent some time with Theravada monastics. But I always say that my heart is with Mahayana. Where Theravada is more about personal liberation. And it's a bit scholarly, even kind of dry, if I'm honest. Mahayana is full of heart. And centers compassion and the interconnectivity of living things. So its focus is on collective liberation. When you think about the heartfelt teachings of tick, not Han and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. That's Mahayana. And speaking of these admirable, loving teachers who inspire so many in today's episode, we're going to unpack the path of the Bodhisattva. More on awakening Bodhichitta and the specific teachings of Lojong as a framework for training and compassion. Before we jump in, here's a quick reminder that my plan for the show continues to center around what would be most helpful and interesting to you. Otherwise, I'm just over here talking to myself while staring at my own navel. In fact, this mini series of shows came to mind because of an outpouring of response to a newsletter I wrote in April. So your feedback does matter. I'd really like to know what's on your mind, especially these days. So check the show notes for the listener submission form where you can send me your questions, favorite resources, or personal vignettes that I might share on the show. You can also send me an email to feedback at skillful means podcast.com. Or text me using the link in the show notes. Last month I shared a tiny bit about bodhicitta, which is a simple word with a lot of meanings, and in its simplest translation it means enlightened. But because chitta means both heart and mind, and body can mean enlightened, awakened, and opened, we get a lot of different interpretations of bodhicitta from open mind, awakened mind, or even the shorthand wakeful, as in waking up from a dream state. But we can also pull in metaphors that relate to being compassionate or open hearted, combined someone who's well along their way in their efforts to cultivate Bodhichitta is wise, kind, unrattled by difficulties, grounded and concerned about the welfare of others. For me, it brings up the very epitome of the humble Zen master with a twinkle in his eye, and also the Dalai Lama, whose laugh is legend. Such persons, who make it their life's work to open their heart and mind, are called bodhisattva's and many schools of Buddhism. A bodhisattva is a rare someone who has already attained enlightenment, but who postpones their nirvana in order to support the awakening of others. And they do this because they understand that no individual can truly be free of suffering until all beings are free of suffering. Keep in mind that a central tenet of Buddhism is that we're all interconnected. What? Tick not Han called interbeing. And it's because we enter are that compassion is such a central aspect of becoming enlightened. Compassion practice is like connective tissue between humans. But it not only bonds us, it also nourishes and fulfills us. It lubricates our relationships and guides us towards the kinds of actions that bring people closer together rather than apart. We humans evolved to be together and cooperate, and compassion helps us do that. Other schools of Buddhism, particularly Mahayana, don't hold to the rarity of bodhisattvas. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling like if the Dalai Lama is the ideal, then lowly me has no hope. In fact, I feel kind of uncomfortable putting any reference to myself in a sentence with His Holiness. So instead of holding up this intimidating, seemingly unattainable ideal in Mahayana, everyone is encouraged to take up the mantle of the bodhisattva's by cultivating bodhichitta. In this way, we're all Buddhas in waiting, and we only just need to dedicate ourselves to the practices that open our hearts and minds. So how do we cultivate bodhichitta? What might an aspiring bodhisattva dedicate themselves to? It helps to look at the two aspects of bodhichitta. First, we have relative bodhichitta, which I brought up briefly in last month's episode. This is the practice of not turning away from suffering. It's because of this aspect of bodhicitta that we have teachings like the four Immeasurables, the Brahmaviharas, which show us how to embody a loving, compassionate, joyful and equanimous presence even when facing adversity. I covered the Immeasurables in past episodes with my former co-hosts, so I'll put some links to the show notes if you're unfamiliar with those teachings. But my guess is that you are. The second aspect is unconditional, or sometimes called absolute bodhicitta. It's a bit like beginner's mind, a way of moving around in the world in an open, curious, and undefended way. Unconditional bodhichitta is connected to our quality of being or our character, which is perhaps what we have a set of teachings called the perfections or Paramitas. Paramitas are basically positive character traits or virtues associated with bodhisattva's. While different schools of Buddhism don't agree on I'm precisely how many there are. All agree that generosity. Donna moral conduct, sila, diligence viria and wisdom prajna are qualities that we want to train up if we are to wake up. Some schools also include honesty, loving kindness, pronunciation, determination, equanimity and tolerance. Incidentally, Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson, among the OG positive psychologists, spent several years exploring multicultural perspectives on positive character traits. They wanted to develop a positive counterpart to the DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual that clinicians use to diagnose mental pathologies. Seligman and Kickstarting Positive Psychology believe that psychology as a discipline had overindexed on what's wrong with people? Seligman and Peterson ended up compiling what is now called the Via Classification of Human Strengths and Virtues, a list of 24 positive qualities that all humans possess, and research on these strengths has shown that people who use them are happier and more fulfilled. And many of the Paramitas are included in the Via classification because they're universally revered human qualities that we all have access to. So all of this is to say that in order to cultivate bodhicitta and walk in the footsteps of Bodhisattva's, we're going to dedicate ourselves to cultivating moral character while also training in compassion. And it's going to feel good. The research backs that up. If you're listening to this show, you've heard me and my former co-hosts discuss the four immeasurables, or you've probably heard of them elsewhere. Loving kindness and compassion are particular favorites of psychology researchers, and every manner of therapist and coach is out there sharing the good word. It's a real testament to the state of things that these teachings are so ubiquitous, because that wasn't even true 20 years ago. But the immeasurables aren't the only way to cultivate compassion, and may not fully get to the heart of what needs to awaken in us to truly evolve into bodhisattva's. We also have Lojong, which is a contemplative practice from the Tibetan wing of Mahayana Buddhism, also known as mind training. The Lojong slogans in a way, make the Paramitas more practical while giving us a clear blueprint for developing a heart. Mind that is primed for compassion. Lojong is a collection of teachings which is comprised of 59 pithy. And I do mean pithy statements and is attributed to 11th century Bengali master named Atisha. And it's based on a set of teachings he received from his Sumatran teacher. Late in his life, Atisha was invited to visit and teach in Tibet, which is how Lojong became associated with Tibetan Buddhism. But it does have these Indian and Indonesian origins. You might already be familiar with Lojong vis a vis Pema children's book Start Where You Are A Guide to Compassionate Living. It's a really great primer and on a lot of people's bookshelves, perhaps it's on yours. But I also want to introduce you to two of my favorite resources, which I'll link to in the show notes. One is a free online resource by Judy Leaf, and the other is Norman Fisher's book Training in Compassion Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong. Like any spiritual text, I find it helpful to consult lots of different sources, not only for the different translations, but also for the commentary where Leif's resource offers some Kochi reflection statements. Fischer's book is particularly rooted in everyday life scenarios that I find helpful, and together I think they really complement each other and I'll continue to reference them in this show. By now, you might be wondering exactly what some of these teachings are. But before I get there, I promise I will. But let me just say that firstly, they're organized according to seven themes or parts, which in their totality form a kind of step by step manual for sorting out your mental afflictions so you can do good and be good. To become a bodhisattva and to be honest, some of it's confronting and hard because it asks us to reflect on our mental habits, examine our self-centeredness, and look closely at our blind spots. But I can attest from my own experience that it does kind of work. But you're probably thinking to yourself, wait, Jen, I thought this was about compassion and other people. This sounds very self-helpy. It does, and it is. And I'll let Fisher answer this question. This is from training in compassion quote. There's much more to it. And here he's referring to compassion than simply being nice and sympathetic to others. Deeper reflection shows that if we want to love and connect to others authentically, we have to liberate ourselves from our ingrained self-centeredness, which means we also have to work on ourselves, on our own minds, with some seriousness. Compassion isn't just about others, it's also about ourselves. And we have to go deeper than the usual viewpoint of self versus others. It isn't enough to be polite and know the right ways to talk to people. We have to have a change of heart. With this change of heart comes resilience. Now I'm still in the middle of my work with Lojong, but I can confirm what Fisher is saying here. Lojong practice has helped me release some relational anxiety and old grievances. I've come to realize that most of the time people hurt people due to lack of skillfulness rather than intentional meanness. And I landed here around the time that I started to really get how most things aren't about me. And if that's true, then other people just aren't focused enough on me to be out to get me. This is also how I'm able to access more compassion for difficult people. If I'm as afflicted as I am for understandable reasons, sure. But surely they are too. I do want to reassure you that the aphorisms associated with the second point of Lojong are all about cultivating bodhichitta. So the how to is in there. Okay, so here we are. Let's get to some of the slogans. I told you I'd get her eventually. On the whole, they're direct and directive. For example, slogan 21 tells us to always maintain only a joyful mind or we have fissures. Interpretation. Maintain joy and don't lose your sense of humor. I think that's generally really good advice, and slogan 30 is also pretty straightforward. Don't malign others. Mhm. I think my grandmother would appreciate that one. But we also have Zen ish phrases that are kind of like koans. For instance, slogan two says regard all dharmas as dreams. Huh? About this slogan, Judy Leaf notes that this one challenges any beliefs we might hold about the solidness and reliability of things. But since everything is impermanent, we do ourselves a disservice if we keep grasping for substance that's not there. As she puts it, we need to lighten up, and as we do, we will also open up. What I want to offer you today is an unpacking of the first slogan train in the preliminaries. And it's a bit of a misnomer to call it a single slogan because it has four parts. This first slogan not only sets the tone for the whole Lojong project, but also lays out some fundamentals that we want to embody before we continue. I spent a long time with just this slogan, and I continue to recite it every day as a way of trying to set the tone for how I live each moment. The first part of training in the preliminaries is to reflect on the preciousness of a human life. As hard as life is, we are supremely lucky to be granted a human birth on the small blue dot that, as far as we know, is the only place in the galaxy that supports life in the larger bathroom at my former favorite yoga studio. It's just not here anymore. I didn't have a falling out with them. They had a little poster of the following Dalai Lama poem hanging on the wall. Every day think as you wake up today. I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life. I'm not going to waste it. I am going to use all of my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others. I'm not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can. Long before I knew about Lojong, this poem would take my breath away. It still does. And honestly, as I read through this now, I'm realizing that it's pretty much a cliff. Notes of the Lojong. The idea here is to train ourselves in a conscious way, not to take our time on this earth for granted. And it's from this awe inspiring start, the preciousness of human life that Atisha counsels us to get real about what's at stake if we don't wake ourselves up. Part two says everything is impermanent and death comes for everyone. Where the first part encourages us to lean into the rarity of life. This one reminds us that it's also fleeting. On this point, my teacher, Sarah Powers, encourages us to reflect on what matters. How are you going to spend your time? What would you want your last words to be to your loved ones? I'll share that these two phrases together have fundamentally changed how I relate to those closest to me. I now always tell my closest ones how much they mean to me every day. I tell them, and to the extent that I can, I let my actions do the talking for me. And it's because of these two phrases that mudita sympathetic joy, which is the opposite of jealousy. It's how this has really come alive for me because I'm more oriented towards cherishing others. Jealousy has been, in a lot of ways crowded out by goodwill. Then we have part three. The results of our virtuous and harmful actions are inevitable. Now, this is not about some kind of cosmic ledger. What comes around goes around. Actually, it's much more grounded than that. Quite simply, all actions have consequences. Big things, small things. Everything that we say and do will reverberate in some way. And so we shouldn't be so surprised when we do ill and people get mad at us. That's what this is saying. As Fisher points out, all of us together are making this world. So we have to ask ourselves, how am I living? What kinds of actions am I taking? gang. Am I a force for good in the world, or am I just another person doing nothing to help and therefore making things worse? So this part of slogan one is reminding us that compassion isn't passive. This is not a bystander practice. We should speak up about the things that matter to us. We should align our actions with our values. We should do something about the things we care about. Remember, compassion is more than being nice. That's loving kindness. And it's important too. But compassion is taking steps toward alleviating suffering. Next month on the show, we're going to talk more about helping and service. But for now, consider the lines of that Dalai Lama poem. I am going to benefit others as much as I can. And finally, part four Suffering is inevitable. This is a reminder of the Buddha's first noble truth. And we talked about this a few episodes back. Bad stuff's going to happen to us. And the only way to prevent annihilation is to face this reality full on. And because the elements of this slogan are kind of circular, we alleviate our suffering by remembering that we have this rare and ephemeral gift of life. And the way we live well is with an open, unarmored heart. I once attended a retreat with tick, not Han, that was titled the Art of suffering, and the method he taught was compassion. Like I said earlier, these lojong statements are confrontational. They are not letting us hide behind any delusions. After all, they're designed to wake us up. But they aren't meant to bum us out. They're meant to light a fire under our butts. Luojiang asks us to get real and take action. Do something. Now that I've given you this first slogan and its four parts, I want to give you a few tips on how to actually work with them. What are we supposed to do with all these statements? And it's a good question. You could just read the book and read it through and kind of take it in. And I think that's a really good first start, is to kind of take a resource like Judith Leaf's website or Fisher's book and just kind of read it through and take it all in. But then you want to kind of go back and work with each one, or maybe a collection of them and really spend some time with them. And one method is through recitation. My teacher wrote a little poetic vow encompassing all four parts of the first slogan. So if you're creative that way, I'd encourage you to do something similar and then recite it every day. Or you could just read the Dalai Lama's poem each morning, or put it in your bathroom and read it several times a day. Fisher remarks that recitation means that the phrases will start to pop into your awareness at different times and when you least expect it. And I found this to be true, especially that first slogan. I might catch myself taking something for granted and I'll hear an inner voice go, what is most important, Jen? And lately I've been working with slogan 11. It seems a little prescient right now because it's turn all mishaps into the path. This is a reminder that our deepest work lies in how we meet our challenges. And I try to recall this one whenever things go pear shaped. I also used the slogans as guide stars and decision making, which means I'm likely to say no to a lot more things than I used to, because my priorities lie elsewhere and I know what they are. I'm also less willing to spin my wheels, fretting about stuff outside of my control, or none of my business, because it takes me away from what really matters to me. I don't want to get to the end and think about how I was so mad at so and so when I could have been loving this other person instead. Now this is a work in progress. I am not a bodhisattva, you know. Some things do still pull me in, but it's better. And I notice the ways in which it's better. And that's really fulfilling too. And you can also intentionally reflect on each of the slogans. Meditate on them. Let them percolate in your awareness. Journal about them. Write about how they show up and and how you feel about them. And then just see what starts to transform as you do so. And don't forget slogan 21 maintain joy and don't lose your sense of humor. That about wraps things up for this month's talk. I fear this is already a lot to take in, so please feel free to send along any thoughts or questions that come up. I'm happy to respond. Feedback at skillful means Podcast.com is the way to get in touch. And if you're in the DC area and free on July 26th, I'm going to be leading an Insight Yoga workshop on slogan one, we'll do a bit of movement, mindfulness and contemplation together. You can find information about that on my website WW. And this month's guided practice is Tonglen, also known as sending and Receiving. This is a very tender and poignant way to practice compassion that specifically gets to the heart of cultivating bodhichitta. Thank you for joining me today. I appreciate you so much for your time and attention and your messages. If you like the show, please leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app. And if you're so inclined, share it with a friend. Until next time. May you meet each moment with courage and compassion.